Louise and Growing Up
by LivTheZombiePricness
Summary: Based on the Nutcracker and the Four Realms film. Louise was never her mother's favourite daughter and she would like to say that fact never bothered her. It took a long time for that to be true.


Originally published on Archive of Our Own, but I felt I should put it here as well. I know it doesn't fit in the Nutcracker play category, but here felt better than Misc Movies. This is about Clara older sister in the film. No real research went into this, I only saw the movie once, and I self edited, so forgive any mistakes in the time period, canon, or spelling.

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Louise was too young to really remember life before Clara. She has vague notions of being spun around in the air by her father and dancing with her parents to a song she can't quite remember. However, her first real memory, that she is totally sure actually happened, involves Clara. It's Christmas time, Clara's first or second, and they are opening presents. Their parents had gotten them a train set and Clara had fallen in love with it. On the other hand, Louise's favourite gift that year was a doll. She doesn't remember who gave it to her, but she could remember sitting by the fire later that night, right before dinner. Her father was out of the room and Louise was alone playing with her doll while her mother and Clara are building the new train set on the other side of the room.

Louise never had any doubt that her mother loved her, just like she never had any doubt that her mother loved Clara more. She knew it wasn't Clara fault and she never really had it in her to blame her mother either. As a young girl, Louise blamed herself. Clara seemed to do all things her mother loved with so little effort, why couldn't she? Why she couldn't be more like Clara, more imaginative, more into technology, more like her mother? These feelings faded with time and life experience. There was a period, during her seventh year, where she really did try to be Clara. She took one of the electric trains set up to her room and spent countless hours trying to make it work. One day, a couple of weeks later, she had gone calling with her father and when they returned home, Clara has Louise's train running. Louise didn't even have it in her to be angry. She hated that stupid train and was more than happy to go back to making clothes for her dolls.

Louise had come to accept her mother's love divide as a fact of life. Just like how the clocks chimes every quarter hour, Maria Stahlbaum loved Clara more then Louise. This fact wasn't obvious to outsiders or even her father, though Louise was sure he knew, even if he wouldn't admit it to himself. Her mother would spend all day with her on her birthday and she would listen intently as Louise would descried the dish she helped make or her newest design for doll's clothes. But if Clara and Louise were vying for attention, her mother would choose Clara around 85% of the time. (Louise knows, she counted the year she was 12.)

Fritz was born during Louise's baby phase. Louise spent the first year of Fritz's life following his nanny or her mother (whoever had him at the moment) and helping with everything they would let her help with. Fritz getting older lucky happened around the same time Louise was growing out of her baby phase. Hanging out with your oldest sister who coos over you isn't near as fun compared to your middle sister who made elaborate traps and machines. However, Louise made sure to always be there for anything Fritz needed, beyond entertainment. She didn't want Fritz to try and change who he was like she had. She wanted him to be first in somebody book, even if the favour wasn't returned.

When her mother died, Louise cried. She cried a lot and there are still night where Louise couldn't fall asleep and would just lay awake and wonder why. It was her own way of grieving. Louise was the kind of person who couldn't blame others for anything. It was her fatal flaw if she had one. She could never blame her mother for loving Clara more, or blame Clara for excepting that love, or blame her father for turning a blind eye to it all, but in the end, that was probably for the best. After her mother's death, Louise couldn't blame her father or her sister for the way they grieved. She knew what they were going through and if that meant Louise had to take a little (a lot) more responsibility around the house, so be it. She was the lady of the house now that her mother was dead and that meant responsibilities and growing up and leaving all her dolls and dress designs in a locked drawer. She was now in charge of the servants and their duties and pay. She did all the meal planning and shopping for the household. She talks to her father and Clara seperately, trying to make them see eye-to-eye and stop fighting. She takes even more change of Fritz, making sure he does well in school and stays out of trouble, even as she stops her lesson with her own tutor. Her mother death marks the end of childhood and Louise couldn't blame her for that either.

It's first Christmas Eve after her mother death and Louise put on the dress her mother gives her, looks in the mirror and almost takes right off. It feels wrong. She's not her mother and she doesn't want to be, but she just sighs and heads down to Clara's room. When her father tells her how much she looks like her mother, she withers a little inside, but on the outside, she smiles and thanks him and starts to do Clara's hair. As they arrive at the party, Louise cements her social face and gets ready to face all the socialites and their conversation along ready to deal with whatever her father and Clara will get into a fight about. She enjoys it though. When the time comes for the presents, she knows there isn't a string for her. She's too old, but the fact she is too old to look for a present bothers more than she liked to admit. The final nail in the coffin of her childhood.

However, after the presents are all found and Clara has whatever adventure she need and they had all dance in the courtyard, Louise feels like they're a family again. As she watches Clara and her father dances, Drosselmeyer comes up to her and hands her a small box.

"I know this year has been hard on all of you, but don't give up on the things you love. I want to see you be famous in your own right."

Inside the box is a pack of coloured pencils and a design book.


End file.
